Every Story Has a Start
by tasha8694
Summary: This is a series which will consist of one shots. Each chapter is a different story and could be in a different world/verse from the previous one. They’ll all detail different ways of the beginning of Sam and Dean’s love. Story summaries inside.
1. My Sons, Each Other's World

**--November 28th 2009--**

**I'm sure all the dates and events are actually lined out in John's Journal but I haven't read it yet so I'm making up all the events as we go. Hope you enjoy!!**

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**This is a series which will consist of one shots. Each chapter is a different story and could be in a different world/verse from the previous one. They'll all detail different ways of the beginning of Sam and Dean's love.**

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**Summary: John always saw his boys through rose coloured glasses. John's view of the boy's relationship over the years. Pre-pilot years all the way to episode 2.01. John Winchester's POV. Wincest. OneShot.**

**Disclaimer: I own nothing except the plot of the story. All characters belong to the creators of Supernatural.**

_Italic – memories, past events_, **Bold - author notes**

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**My Sons, Each Other's World**

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It started just after Mary's death. Sam wouldn't stop crying for his mama, so Dean used to climb into the crib tuck Sam to his body and rest Sam's head into the crook of his neck. I could only guess Sam associated the warmth with love and protection or his mama, either way he would stop crying almost instantly. Somewhere along the way I started wondering if he simply started crying when he wanted his brother.

In the later years I watched as Dean fussed more and more over his brother, almost like a mother but not in the same way. Sam never seemed to mind and sometimes I would notice he would over-react just to get Dean's focus.

I should have seen it when they were littler. Sam was four, Dean must have been eight. Sam was in daycare while Dean was in school and then Dean would join him there until I picked them up at the end of the day. I thought Dean was old enough to walk from the school to the daycare; it was only a couple blocks. I never had a complaint from the daycare until I received a phone call saying that when I dropped off the boys that morning I needed to stay so they could talk to me. I figured Dean had let something slip about the supernatural world, they had only been there a week after all and the caretakers wouldn't have had time to adjust to his mutterings. To be truly honest they may have just been concerned with the lack of talking from Dean. Dean only really talked to Sam.

As I drove over I started to make up excuses and decide what would work best. But when they sat me down in their office they informed me they had concerns of how the boys interacted, I was confused. They softly informed me that over the past week they'd noticed overly intimate actions between the boys. I asked what they meant, after telling them the boys were very close due to their mother's death. They said they understood but the boys actions seemed to go beyond the bond of close siblings. Before I could interject once again with my confusion they stared to tell me one of the things the noticed:

_"For example," the head coordinator started. She was the typical stuck up principal type and I knew this was going to go badly. "Every day for the past week, when Dean walks in the door Sam instantly runs over to him and kisses him."_

"_That doesn't seem very odd." I responded._

_She frowns, "no it doesn't, but the way he does it, Sam more often than not grabs Dean's hands, kisses his lips then says, only sometimes, I love you before hugging him tight and running back to what he was doing to let Dean hang up his coat and backpack."_

_"Oh," is all I could manage. It did seem odd. "What else?" I couldn't help but ask, stupid hunter skills kicking in._

_"Well, the only recurring thing we've noticed is that Sam refuses to sleep unless he has what he calls 'Deans favorite blanket.'"_

_I know what blanket she's talking about. Dean's had it since the fire. It's the one Sam was wrapped in as we sat on the hood of Impala and watched our home go up in flames. I had no idea Sam was taking it here every day in his backpack. I thought it was full of toys. But I'm confused, "Dean's favorite blanket?"_

_She sighs and takes off her glasses, "we asked him about this. He says that Dean sleeps with it every night."_

_I nod in agreement._

"_I asked him why he has Dean's favorite blanket then and he said 'it smells like Dean. I like how Dean smells." She finishes._

_This isn't going anywhere good, "well they're very close as I said"_

_She looked irritated, "Mr. Winchester these behaviors are common for kids half their age but they normally grow out of them by now."_

"_I understand, I'll talk to the boys tonight."_ I remember saying.

And that's what I did. It told them that they were acting like little babies and that their caretakers told me of their behavior. Sam looked confused, Dean merely nodded.

I never heard from the daycare again so I figured it was fixed.

Over the years I started to go away more and for longer portions of time. I barely saw Dean grow through his teen years and Sam suddenly shoot up. I left them to raise each other.

I remember coming home early once and finding them crashed out on the couch. Sam was 16 and Dean was 20. I was beat from the hunt and I barely paid attention to the two sleeping forms on the pull out couch in front of the TV. I walked past the living room and through the hall to the bedrooms. I don't know why but the boys' room caught my eye as I passed. It looked like it always did. The floor was covered in clothes as they exploded from the duffle bags. They never truly settled anywhere. What caused me to stop and look was the beds still looked perfectly made. I knew Sam's bed was frequently made when I passed by their rooms as they grew up but Dean's never was, ever. The more I stared the more the room only looked like it had been used to store clothes. I went back to the living room and looked them over. Dean was lying on his back. Sam was lying on his chest with his body tucked up against Dean, his head in the crook of Dean's neck. It was like I had gone back 16 years to when Sam was a baby, except it was completely different. It no longer looked like a brother comforting his younger brother but lovers who were completely comfortable with each other. As I stared longer I stared to notice other things. Sam had his leg tucked in between Dean's, Dean had a hand wrapped around Sam's waist and his other hand was intertwined with Sam's fingers as they rested on his chest. I felt sick and had to leave. I didn't know where I was going and I didn't care how much noise I made but I jumped back into the Impala and drove. The first thing that ran through my mind was that I had failed Mary and let our boys grow up out of society. Then I was angry with Dean for letting his brother do this to them. Finally I was angry with myself for leaving the boys alone so much. I let them raise each other. I never thought this would come of it. I came to a red light and as I stared at it, willing it to turn green, I convinced myself I was jumping to conclusions. So I turned around and went back. They were up when I got back but I watched them from then on.

I think they knew I was watching. I never saw anything until Sam was had turned 18 and things started seeming extremely tense.

I remember thinking something was up. I had just come back from a long hunt and announced my return to the boys. We were staying in a house at the time so Sam could stay in one place while he finished his last year of schooling. Sam came running past me and out the door I had just walked through. He barely acknowledged me. Dean rounded the corner and looked startled by my presence. He stopped in his tracks and simply muttered a 'welcome back dad,' before looking at his shoes. I told him I'd be unpacking in the living room and for him to go get his brother. He seemed relieved he could continue after Sam and dashed out the door. I couldn't help my urge and simply dumped my stuff in the living room, making it look like I had started to unpack and then ducked into the bathroom. The living room was away from the door so they wouldn't know I wasn't in it and the bathroom had a window that opened up. I quietly propped it open and listened:

"_Sammy, stop moving and listen to me." I heard Dean say._

"_No," Sam responded._

_Dean huffed, "I just don't understand. What did I do?"_

"_What did you do?" Sam snorted, "Dean I practically caught you making out with my boss!" He yelled._

"_Shh! Dad's back," Dean says quickly._

"_I don't care Dean!"_

_I could only imagine the look on Sam's face and smiled to myself, stubborn just like his mama _

"_And besides you only saw me walking out of the office."I heard Dean mutter as I pulled myself away from my memories._

"_So you're telling me you didn't do anything?"_

"_That's not what I'm saying."_

"_Fine, whatever, I just want to know why her."_

"_She was going to fire you!" Dean blurts out sounding exasperated._

_No answer comes from Sam. After a few seconds a quiet, "what," comes from his lips. By this time I couldn't help but start to climb up to the window and peer out of it. I could barely see them, but at the same time I saw everything clearly. Sam looks dumbfounded and takes a step towards Dean, "Dean, it was just a job."_

_Now Dean looks embarrassed and looks at his shoes, "yeah I know but you love that job. You're always going on and on about it. I couldn't let you lose it."_

_Sam is practically chest to chest with his brother, "that's the…" he trails off._

_Dean looks up and finishes the hanging sentence by saying, "sweetest thing I've ever done for you?_

_Sam shoves him back and laughs, "no. It's the stupidest thing. If the only way I was going to keep that job was by you making out with my boss I would rather the world ended tomorrow than keep working there."_

"_But you love that job?" Dean says confused._

_Sam smiles and pulls Dean close, "love you more." He says before wrapping his hand around the back of Dean's head and smashing their mouths together._

_I froze in horror as my sons, _my sons_, made out on my front lawn. Nothing in all my years of hunting prepared me for the repulsion I felt. I was still pulling myself out of the shock when I heard "Sammy, stop, we, ca, Dad, inside." I wasn't really paying attention but the words sounded like they were uttered between kisses._

_I head Sam laugh, "Dean if he hasn't discovered us by now he never will, and besides I turned 18 last month. What can he do to us now?"_

_After those words I sunk down in my spot, just slid to the floor. He was right, what could I do?_

I remember that was the day I really started to drink.

I remember being completely smashed, thanks to my friend Jim Beam, the day Sam announced he'd won a full ride to Stanford and would be leaving in a couple of hours. I remember throwing the bottle at his head and yelling at him for abandoning the family. Mostly I was venting my anger about his and Dean's relationship but they never knew that. What I remember the strongest was grabbing Dean roughly by the collar and telling him to drive his brother to the bus station and come directly back. I told him, no shouted at him, that he would be going on his first solo mission. He looked shocked but uttered a 'yes sir' before disappearing out the door after Sam and his bags.

I sobbed the entire time they were gone. When Dean did walk back through the door I had composed myself and handed Dean the information on his job and the keys to the Impala. He refused at first of course but I told him I would stick around and buy something more suitable for me. I could see the light in his eyes come back that had seemed to go out when Sam announced his news. I nodded and told him to go gather his stuff.

Things never were the same after that. I still drove to Stanford every once and a while to make sure Sam was happy and safe. For the first year I frequently found the Impala parked out front in the middle of the night. It took all my restraint not to burst through the door of Sam's dorm room. In the second year I never saw the Impala again. It gave me a spark of pride but I never did know if Dean simply started hiding the Impala or he stopped coming all together. I never asked.

Then I caught a glimpse of the evil that started all of this. That stole my wife, the love of my life, _my_ world, and completely wrecked what future my boys had. I took off like a bat out of hell. Leaving Dean with no reason or knowing.

I had no idea things would change after the crash. I was going to see Dean when I heard Sam's broken voice softly float out the door.

"_Dean," Sam said through sobs, "please don't leave me. You've always been there. I know I hurt you by going to Stanford but you came after me anyway. Every visit I told you to leave. I told you if I was ever going to make myself a new life I had to leave behind the old. You didn't listen and I loved you more each time. Then one day you finally nodded and walked out the door. I didn't have your strength and couldn't go after you. When you showed up the night you asked me to go find Dad with you I pretended to resist against it, I thought it was what you wanted, what Dad would want. But Dean, god I love you SO much, please, just please."_

I finally understand and can't deny that the love my boys hold for each other is the love that I still have for Mary, but how I ended up standing here I'll never really understand. All I know is that I have to save Dean. Have to bring him back from the brink of death. So here I stand, facing the evil I swore to kill. Not facing off in a battle to the death but begging for the life of my son. I keep telling myself I'm standing here to save the life of my son but I know I'm standing here to return Dean back to Sam. I know that is what I'm doing, returning their entire world. If only someone had done the same for me so many years ago. So I plant my feet, "I want to make a deal."


	2. Is This the End or the Beginning

**Summary: What if Dean had sold his soul to save Sam because he had more than just brotherly feelings for him, but never told Sam before his year was up. What if Sam knew all of this. How this would change the boys and their thoughts and actions.**

**Disclaimer: Supernatural belongs to its respected owners. I'm just stealing it for a little fun.**

_Italic - thoughts_, **Bold - author notes**

**Returning**

Sam had changed. He could feel it to his rotted core; demon blood burning his veins, demonic addiction taking over. It burned him from the inside out.

It was May 1st. Soon it would be one year exactly since Lilith had seen to ripping his brother apart. Sam remembered the metallic and sulphuric stench of the room. It still burned his nostrils and lingered on his tongue every time he slits her wrist.

Dean had changed. He could feel it to his tortured soul. Self-hatred had stopped his running veins long ago. Hell fire no longer burned his skin as it burned over his body.

How he had kept time he never understood but he know it would soon been a hundred and twenty years since his insides redecorated the room. The stench of iron and sulphur was nothing compared to what he smelt as he ripped open soul after soul.

He had to get out.

Sam drove to the spot where Dean had made his deal. He sat with the headlights bathing the gravel in light. The door screeched in protest as he opened it. Walking to the exact middle Sam stood and faced the Impala, letting her headlights burn his eyes. He closed his eyes and turned around. He started counting, "one, two, three," it was intoxicating, "eight, nine, ten." His eyes burst open as the memories washed over him at this exact time one year ago. The ripping and barking of the hellhounds, and for a second he swore he heard Dean's voice so clear he could have sworn it was happening again.

Furious at his memories and what he was now he turned back to the bright lights to find a face.

He remembered this face. It's stubble and freckles. The full lips and green eyes. Dean.

"Sammy," Dean said with an evil smirk. His eyes turned black, "miss me?"

Sam raised his hand and Dean flew to the nearest tree, pinned there. He walked slowly towards the tree his eyes darkening to match the ever encroaching shadows.

"You're strong Sammy," that smirk was back, "but not strong enough." Dean raised his hand and clenched his fist.

Sam sunk to his knees and clutched his throat as his airway closed in on him.

Dean circled, never releasing the grip of his hand, "see I've heard rumours. How the great Samuel Winchester had joined us. How he was going to set Lucifer free and save us all." He stopped in front of Sam and looked down on his brother. "But I'm the only one who knows why, Sam." Dean released his grip.

Sam fell to his hands, panting. "Dean," he managed to growl hatefully.

"It's been a hundred and twenty years for me Sam. Somewhere along the lines I started hating you."

Sam laughed and stood shakily to his feet.

"I pulled a lot of strings to get back here, in my body, and I'm sure not wasting it."

Sam lifted his hand and it was Dean's turn to clutch at his burning throat. "Funny you should say that. It may have taken you a hundred and twenty years Dean, but it's only taken me a year to know this is entirely your fault."

Dean could feel his demonic form being stripped from his old body.

"Your stupid need for me has plagued our souls." Sam released his grip.

Dean gasped for air he didn't need. "Your need for me is the reason you're bringing Lucifer out to play. Planning to make a deal were we Sammy?"

Hell fire burned in both of their eyes.

"You mean this need?" Sam said before grabbing the front of Dean's shirt and shoving their bodies together. Their mouths collided more than kissed. Sam's hands grasped Dean's hips forcefully as he guided them back against the tree Dean had thrown him against. They hit the tree hard and Dean felt his lip split. Sam pulled back briefly dragging Dean's lip with him. He watched the blood slowly creep out of Dean's skin until it started to run down his chin. Sam's tongue flicked out and licked away the trail. Dean smirked. "So is this the end or the beginning of the Apocalypse?"


End file.
